Conversation is at the heart of our human relationships and interactions on earth. When it comes to conversations, talking is always a much easier thing to do than listening. Listening requires putting aside our own self-willed, pre-conceived thoughts, desires, ideas, views, strong opinions and predetermined conclusions on a particular subject in order for us to hear what the other person is saying. And as human beings who often times considers our opinions and views as conclusively right, putting a pause on our own thoughts and conclusions and actively listen to what others have to say can be virtually an impossible thing most of the time.
The only way conversations will amount to active communication if it involves not just talking but listening. Listening although might not necessarily change our opinions but it will at least enable us to tailor our responses to what is being said. In the absence of active listening, conversation is more or less like a two way street whereby the words released are no more than the already pre-conceived but neatly fitted into conversations as responses but in no way actual relevant responses to what is being said in any given present conversation situation. Fitting in pre-conceived ready made answers into conversations actually makes conversations a very difficult task. What usually happens in those circumstances is that there is actually no communication going on. It is more or less like having two people talking but speaking in different dialect and although both cannot understand each other dialect let alone make sense of it, they actually believe that they fully understand what each one is saying judging by their responses. Such conversation will usually take the form of going round and round in the circles of repetitions and the repetitions in itself are evidence of a deadlock and proof that the conversation is not actually a communication. Rather, it is more or less a battle between two opposing pre-conceived conclusions of self-right. And the only way to end it will be if one decides to do the most humble thing and walk away.
The flesh which is of course highly egocentric not only wish to have the first say, but always determined to have the very last say on everything. The flesh as a battle oriented nature is always determined to prove a pointless point and only prepared to walk away after it had proved its egocentric point as the winner and with all self-right opinion intact and untainted by any spill of opinions or conclusions from the opponent side. It is therefore obvious to see how often times an intended friendly gathering or envisaged leisure time by parties to a relationship can easily lead and escalate into a bitter end battle of exchange of angry words. In fact, anytime we walk in mannerism of the flesh, there can never be an ending to the battle of conversations. Indeed long after the actual vexing physical talks are over with, the war of conversations continues to play itself in the mind of the flesh not only by repeatedly replaying the vexation centred scenario of conversation but also by inciting the war to continue in the inner mind through providing all manner of excuses for not letting go of it.
Proving a flesh point is actually of no point. Our point is only valid if it is made from the humble heart of the spirit and not from the arrogant mindset of the flesh. Letting go of a provoking situations even when we think we are right and we have a strong point to prove is actually demonstration of spiritual power. The weakness of the flesh is made blatantly obvious in the inability to let go of irrelevant things. Holding on to irrelevant things not only denies us our necessary peace but worse of all, it places us in danger of engaging in inward mind oppressive conversations with pestilence spirits. Any conversations entered into in the mode of flesh will only lead to a sinful end result and cannot yield a righteous peaceful end result. A conversation can only yield a righteous end result if it is genuinely led by God's Holy Spirit and not by our human battlefront egocentric mindset.
Any conversation entered into in the mindset of flesh is not actually communication but self-oriented language that is from the heart of flesh which can only work to generate frustrations and angry reactions. Communication can only take place if conversations are not engaged into in mannerisms of proving our own self-determined point. If it is about proving our self-believed righteous point in this fleshy world environment whereby every man, right or wrong believes he is right in his views, then enforcing those pre-conceived righteous points on others through flesh hearted intended communication is bound to only generate an outcome of conversation warfare and in warfare, much frustrations and irritant anger. A person who considers his or her opinions as absolutely right will only be mindful of listening to his or herself and not to anything else that, others might have to say. And often times any attempt to reason with such people will only lead to an increase of anger and highest frustrations. A person who believes he or she is fleshy right but who is realistically spiritually wrong will by reason of his or her self-believed fleshy conclusions engage in conversations in total mind block. Such people are often very arrogant and completely uninterested in listening to anything else anyone have to say but mindful only to prove their own pre-determined fleshy spiritually wrong but believed to be right conclusions.
Conversations, if it is led by the Spirit of God is not meant to irritate but elevate. However, often times the motivation and inspiration for 'talks' is not God's Spirit but the arrogant flesh, which is always bent on proving a fruitless and irritant point. The one thing we all need to pray for is for God to help us avoid responding to the flesh in mannerism of the flesh. The flesh is battle oriented and as long as you keep entertaining it, it will surely keep coming on strong with more provoking irritant fleshy words. Hanging up our 'talking' punches battle gloves at the point where it becomes obvious that the talk is all to do with proving a fleshy point is a victory in itself over the nature of flesh. Continuing with a conversation, which only edifies the flesh but vexes the spirit is not a wise thing. We glorify God by walking away from a fleshy conversation situation and not by staying in it. The flesh only seeks to tempt, provoke, irritate and ultimately take us away from the peaceful presence of God often times by provoking a flesh anger and irritant reaction in us through landing hurtful vexation centred punching words on us where they are likely to hurt most. And the worst part of it all is that, if we do not quickly rise above the situation the angry conversation will linger on in our minds and will continue to cause effect of provocation in the inner mind like a terrible offensive irritating loud music until we do the right thing and turn it off. It is important that, we rise always above the provocation centred communication strategy of the devil by removing ourselves mentally, physically, emotionally and in all aspects from a fleshy centred atmosphere of unprofitable dead end conversations.
Avoiding conversations altogether with the fleshy oriented and arrogant minded in this fallen world of flesh might prove somehow an impossible task for us to achieve. On social media platform for instance it is not uncommon for people to throw the bait of conversation warfare through comments. And whether the bait comes from social media forum or any other forum or platform for that matter, it is important we seek God to always help us discern and for Him to help us to always do the right thing and humbly walk away from any potential fleshy conversation setup. The worst kind of people to watch out for and often times impossible to reason with are actually those who believe they are experts and as experts, totally conclusively right. In the Church arena for instance, this self-believed experts are like end times pharisees who sees it as their point of spiritual intellectual duty to set the doctrine record straight and enforce what they consider as righteous laws. And if one is not careful, one can easily get caught up in a futile fleshy debate, which can only work to vex the soul and ultimately cause one to offend and sin against God. The ability to walk away from a provoking situations is in itself evidence of spiritual security in Christ and maturity in God. The more secured we become in our walk of faith with God the less we will feel the fleshy urge and need to prove a flesh point. The more we grow and develop in our relationship with God, the easier it will become for us to operate in the power of righteous silence and let go of those things that we need to let go of.
As human beings we are by nature conversationalist. However, the conversation nature of the flesh is sinfully battle oriented, pointless-point proving centred and not in any way righteousness centred. Walking away from a conversation battle front is not something that is possible for the flesh because the battle will indeed continue in the mind of the flesh long after the physical talk is done and over with. Our only means of walking away is by operating in the spiritual power of humility and not in the weakness of egocentrism. We need to rise above our flesh through humble and meekness behaviour and ensure that the flesh does not win and have its way over the spirit. Any near victory for the flesh is actually a total defeat for the spirit. Therefore, it is better to walk away from conversation battlefront situations with our fleshy ego extremely battered and bruised, than to stick around, prove our fleshy point, vex our spirit man and ultimately sin against God by engaging in a futile egocentric and pointless soul offending irritant conversations.
I pray the LORD Jesus enables us all daily to discern, listen to His warning bells and that He will in all circumstances guide us to actively listen and to do all things in our conversation manner to the reverencing of God our heavenly Father and to the utmost honour of His holy name. Amen.
"Either make the tree good, and his fruit good; or else make the tree corrupt, and his fruit corrupt: for the tree is known by his fruit.
O generation of vipers, how can ye, being evil, speak good things? for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.
A good man out of the good treasure of the heart bringeth forth good things: and an evil man out of the evil treasure bringeth forth evil things. But I say unto you,
That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.
For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned."
"Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.
Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:
And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you."
Pastor Olabisi was a mother, Senior Pastor, Evangelist, Prophet,Teacher, Psalmist, Author, Writer, Publisher and a Housing Practitioner.
She set up Encouraged by God as a means of encouraging and strengthening the faith of Christians everywhere.
Lived and died in Christ, 06 October 2016, aged 49 years old.